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Going In: Co-Creating a Greater World From Within

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Lesson 13 of23
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Overcoming Traumas, Insecurities & Abuses

CoCre November 3, 2021

 

 

*Disclaimer: This section may have heightened triggers. Pain comes to warn you that you must bring attention to or heal something. This work can heal and empower, and the courage to work through it is all it takes. You must feel your emotions in order to move through them, so be sure you do this processing in a safe space. Be mindful of how you express your emotions. Remember how breathing can help you through anything, specifics like the Letting Go breath, and that you are always in control of your emotional processing. You are never alone. If this section is too sensitive for you, we recommend working through it with your therapist or a close emotional friend or advisor. If urgent attention is ever needed, there is a guide to unconditional 24/7 help available at cocre.co/911. We send love and honor your healing journey. Remember this helpful wisdom: “And this too shall pass” and “I didn’t come this far to only come this far.”

What are your deepest pains, shames, traumas, secrets, fears and insecurities? 

Depending on what you are moving through in your past and present, this question could easily be the single most powerful of this course. Without unpacking this question, true healing cannot occur. All your blocks, fears, and abuses of yourself and others live here. You must go here, open up and unravel. Otherwise, the effects of this unnecessaringly linger in your story and cling to your patterns. It is especially critical to address any pains, confusions and traumas, and to think back to your experiences under the age of twelve. These years set the tone to your personality, feelings, reactive habits and interactions. This is also a time when most things happen to you – rarely is anything “your fault” during this time, rather, the residual effects that become your responsibility. No matter the incident, first forgive yourself before anything. Acknowledge the need for this space, and how important it is to clear out anything negative you experience during these years that twisted your feelings to create your first deeply rooted knots. It is vital to go back to acknowledge what needs to be healed, and whatever inspires any negative patterns in your present life.

“Oftentimes we repeat a toxic relationship because we are dating from a wound. This could be stemming from a wound of abandonment, resentment or abuse from a mother or father figure. Until we heal the wound it can continue to manifest. This requires us to dig deep to bring awareness to our unconscious patterns. What we don’t repair, often repeats.” -Jake Woodard

We all have traumas or painful moments that have made a significant imprint on us, with the resulting torment ranging all across the spectrum. With trauma, resulting effects can never quite be measured or compared, as everyone reacts differently with diverse levels of resilience, based on their own abilities to comprehend and cope with their unique experience. Here we are considering traumas anything that has caused a negative imprint on the psyche – be it a distant childhood memory of embarrassingly being called out about an insecurity, or something horrific to the mind, body or spirit – and all in between. Across the board, traumas often result in the same feelings of confusion, stress, hurt, loss of self-esteem, violated boundaries and personality changes. If left unexplored, these can often take over our lives or have great influence on many of the decisions we make, how we feel and motives for what we think we want or value for ourselves in life, and attracting as such.

Think about this question for some time. You will write these out in exercises at the end of this section, but for now, step away from any distractions and honor your story. Jot your own notes down if you wish. Go through the memories, the healing. Perhaps some memories got triggered when you did your Life Story exercise; this is the time to be with them now.

Hold a space for kindness to yourself and your journey. Create a calm environment for yourself to think through these. Make yourself some warm herbal tea, light a fire or a candle, give yourself privacy. Take a walk or move your body around if memories become painful. But be with these memories. These are often some of the most difficult aspects that we sometimes spend our lives trying to avoid. Facing them and releasing them will open up infinitely grander possibilities for the rest of your life.

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So that was the toughest part. If you were able to think back through some of your confusions and traumas for more than a few solid minutes, then you have accomplished the toughest part of this course, and overcame the thing that so many spend their lives trying to avoid. From here on out, everything gets better. Sound good?

“You can’t go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending.” -CS Lewis